THE SIXTH BOUROUGH

like wolves. like smoke. like the rest of the fucking world.

September 02, 2010

one last kick at the can.

I just received an email from Myspace. You remember them, don't you?
That site that we all used to use in grade 9?..Profiles and music?..Silly layouts and graphics?
Well as it turns out, Myspace is currently dead in the water, struggling for air, and is about to get blasted right out of the fucking lake we call the internet.

Now, unless you're living in some internet deprived, desolate third world country, odds are you haven't even considered visiting your Myspace profile since the arrival of the social networking messiah we call Facebook (and who can blame you.) But before we let Myspace get absolutely annihilated by the upcoming "Ping" — a social networking device that couples iTunes with Twitter in order to create some sort of Last.fm/Myspace/Twitter lovechild — I figure we should all pay our Myspace profiles a well deserved visit. Spruce them up a little, update your default one last time, maybe even change the song that plays when your profile opens up. Just a little gesture to help them cope with the massive changes that are about to come.

Frankly, I don't blame the people at Myspace for launching this recent clusterfuck of updates. If anything, they're only following human nature and instincts. Tom and the gang at Myspace HQ are grasping for life, letting out one final fantasy in order to perhaps steal the hearts of internet users just before they're abolished forever. This act is something we can all relate to. When we're in a dire situation, a rough spot, or simply about to get fucked over, we as humans will do anything in our capability to save our asses. These dying acts don't always seem heroic though. Rather, they tend to have a sense of desperate urgency and hollowness that simply waters down any true or valiant effort put into the action. These grasps for life show nothing but weakness in our character. If Myspace wanted to die with it's dignity, it would just lay back and let the tide take it's body, rather than fighting for life and selling it's soul to the competitors. These boys are going to eat you alive, Tom. Just collect your earnings and leave the table. No struggle means no loss.


-dalton.

1 comment:

  1. You write with the passion and knowledge of a journalist, embrace it.
    Hope your first week at school was everything you dreamed it to be.
    Don't go burning a Qu'ran, it's been called off.
    mw

    ReplyDelete